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Post by Darkmen on Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:02 am

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Hi Gilbert,

I have known about your site for quite a while but due to crippling fear, self-doubt and inertia that has at many times prevented me from taking the best course of action for myself, I have delayed sending this – but now I think it’s the time that I really need some external expert help and advice.

I am a Singaporean graduate with a foreign external degree. I graduated with glowing Honours. However, it IS an external degree (and this is Singapore which prides local Unis), and my degree is a humanities.

I graduated two years ago, but since then have yet to take on a full-time job.

The last “real’ job I took was a part-time after more than half a year of unsuccessful searching last year.

However, due lack of career advancement and he company being unable to promote me to a full time position, I left earlier this year with more hopes of greener pastures. However as of today, I have been unemployed for 5 months, again. I have been to 3 interviews since leaving the company but they were all unsuccessful.

Coupled with the experience of interviews that I went to last year (which were obviously all unsuccessful as well), my self-confidence has plummeted and there has been large amounts of times whereby I find it hard to bring myself to apply for another job because of crippling self-doubt. Two obstacles that I feel I face are a lack of concrete experience on my.

I have an interest in the arts, media and journalistic field, however most of my experience in those fields have been of the voluntary and the freelance kinds which employers don’t pay much attention to, and there is also a problem in not performing well in interviews– I have been to second and even third rounds only to be kicked out; again and again.

I have been feeling down and depressed on a few occasions about my situation– many a times I have been a hermit and ashamed to network among my other peers who already have secure careers and to let them know of my predicament– which is quite counter-productive because I have read enough jobsearch literature to know that networking is a key to landing a good job.

I think I am lost and insecure.

I am not sure if this is a sign of better things to come, but an acquaintance knew that I am unemployed and looking for a job, wants to hire me for his new company.

However, interactions with this company have left me feeling very unsure and a bit scared. Firstly, he has been utilizing myhelp for free (which at first, I thought I would offer to show my initiative, then I feel like he was making use of me), then I find that he is very pushy and grandiose which makes me feel a growing sense of doubt and fear.

He has since offered a low salary for me that is well below my expectations and below the average starting wage for uni grads, but with the promise of earning commissions.

But how much water does that promise hold?

I am also not sure if the nature of the job is what I want to do – deep in my heart I feel like this is not the company I want to work for and there is something better out there and this is not what I want to do, but I’m also not sure if I should trust my heart too.

He is quite pushy and presumptuous and I feel like I have no other choice at my current situation than to accept this offer.

However a growing sense of unease with each passing day (he has sent me the contract).

Interestingly the contract start date has passed but No real work has begun for me’

This has left me feeling depressed that sometimes I just burst into tears for no reason just thinking about it. 

I am confused, lost, alone, and feel like I have let myself down (I feel like I have a lot of potential in me), and feel that time is running out (I am in my twenties and behind most of my peers and this thought depresses me).

Whenever I see a job that I think I would like I feel paralysed with self-doubt to apply — this is against the backdrop of a hope of scoring a job elsewhere so I can “escape” this impending job (mentioned above) that is on my hands.

A lot of contradictory feelings (maybe I should feel lucky as compared to others with my situation but why do I feel so depressed at times?). I think I am at a quarter-life crisis, I feel like I need some guidance, encouragement and a listening ear. Is it normal, the way I am feeling?

Please Gilbert, I would like to request for career counselling, is it possible? Maybe I have been applying for jobs the wrong way and conducting myself wrongly in interviews?

Maybe I should break out of my feelings of shame and be open to more networking? Or perhaps, I am just not wholly sure of the career direction to go towards? I would really appreciate your help and guidance on this.


Felicia has since provided Felicia with a coach to assist her.

*Article first appeared on [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Posts : 420
Join date : 2013-08-24

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